7-26-12 12:49 am
I finally worked up the nerve to start a blog. It's not that I don't like to write or anything, but school has definitely been my life these past few years. This is precisely why I'm finally writing; I want to pour myself into this and have some piece of mind. Where do I begin? I feel like I've lived many lives: I've been a student at UCR who transferred to Cal, and now I'm in the process of applying to grad schools. Who would've have thought this student on subject to dismissal (STD) would have gone so far? Every time I self-reflect I'm amazed with everything I've been through. I've been through hell and back; I've been the villain and the hero, and what I now have to show for are my battle scars (some more tender than others).
The main reason for starting this blog is so I can go back and reflect on my experiences. We're so caught up with our daily lives that we forget to take a second (or a few) to pause and go over our day. For some reason the days seem to be going by hella fast, and I don't want to think back one day and realize that I never gave myself more credit for never quitting (even when I thought there was no way out).
So where do I begin? I know, I'll start with this week. Monday was amazing, I made a new friend and we immediately u-hualed it (now I'm her gay boyfriend). Her name is K, she's originally from El Lay and she transferred here last Spring semester. She's also an English major and she plans to attend law school. I'm so proud of everything she has accomplished, especially after overcoming her past experiences. I truly admire people that can overcome struggles and move forward. Sometimes I feel like I'm too critical with myself, and maybe others, because I tend to show tough love. I've toned it down for the most part because I understand that everyone is different and we react to our experiences in many different ways. I'd like to think that I'm more compassionate than I once was, which is part of our learning experiences.
Other than making a new friend, I've been busy with class, summer research, and my GRE classes. I'm currently taking a Romantic poetry class with one of the best professors I've had in all of my undergraduate years. One of the requirements for the class is presenting, with a group of people, some of the poems we cover in class. My group chose to write a skit, and the professor loved it! We mimicked the show In The Actor's Studio, but rather than interview an actor we had the resuscitated William Wordsworth come to the show (played by yours truly). The class couldn't get enough and I'm pretty sure we set the bar.
On top of summer school and group projects, I've also been working on my summer research with a professor in the English department. We're exploring the genealogy of Chicano narratives and focusing on 19th century writing. I've been living in the Bancroft library scoping through the microfilms that contain letters from Californians who were here in the 1800's. I feel like I'm an actual grad student working on my dissertation, and going over archives relevant to my work. I don't take this for granted either; I know how fortunate I am to be doing research in one of the best research institutions in the world. I do feel a sense of pride, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. Yes, I do call myself out on certain facts (e.g. social capital, problems within institutions, etc.) but I'm also taking into account how my personal experiences help me benefit from my current position as well as how to be grateful for such an opportunity.
It feels great to finally jot down my thoughts and keep them stored for future readings. This will be great for my soul (and my sanity). I'll keep posting little miscellaneous stories here and there along with my preachy tone of voice and see where it goes from there. Until then!
